tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC March 16, 2012 3:05am-4:00am EDT
jimmy: thank you very much, everyone. it feels good to be here. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. that's me. welcome. we have a great show tonight. but everybody is talking about new york knicks point guard jeremy lin. [ cheers and applause ] pump it, pump it. last night, he led the knicks to their 7th straight win. yep. soon he's going to be getting all the benefits of being an nba star. he's going to get a salary bump, an endorsement deal, a kardashian. he's just going to -- [ laughter ] -- all come rolling in. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: hey, you guys, some political news. during a speech yesterday, president obama said, "ask what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and your country will do everything we can to help you succeed." then, he added, "speaking of jobs, anyone know of a good speechwriter because that quote sucked?" i don't know -- [ laughter ]
what did i -- [ cheers and applause ] what? ask your job -- ask your job -- when you want -- to ask it, and the country's jobs will then be your job. wait more. wait more. more jobs for -- it's like magnetic poetry. [ laughter ] you just put it together like -- ask your job -- let me start again. jobs are a thing. actually, this week president obama visited a factory in wisconsin that just brought back 100 jobs from china. that's got to be -- [ cheers ] yeah. that's got to be tough. that's got to be tough for the workers in china who lost their jobs. but, you know, kids always bounce right back. [ laughter ] so, that's the -- that's the good -- we're headed -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: eye on the prize.
>> jimmy: because when your job is -- [ laughter ] it keeps getting louder and louder. jobs are a -- >> steve: sweaty. >> jimmy: flop sweat is coming. one teleprompter fell down. um. [ laughter ] hey, this is pretty cool. a cnn producer won $1 million in the georgia state lottery. which explains why the ticker at the bottom of the screen just said, "y'all can kiss my ass." [ laughter ] i was like "wait a minute, what?" what's going on? speaking of cnn, i heard that cnn is letting viewers ask the candidates questions at its republican debate next week. it will be awkward when they're like, "this question's from mark in texas. mark asks, 'what else is on?'" [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: this is crazy. yesterday a man in ireland was
arrested with more than 500 pounds of marijuana. [ cheers and applause ] so i guess there is a little pot at the end of the rainbow. >> steve: oh! whoa! [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ da na na na na na na ♪ >> jimmy: you can tell -- you can tell -- you can tell that the guy was a stoner because when he woke up, he was like "top of the -- 4:00 p.m. to you, what? where did the day go? oh, funyuns." [ laughter ] and finally, i read that firefighters in pennsylvania saved 200 pounds of polish sausage from a smokehouse fire. [ laughter ] it is crazy. last time i saw a fireman handle that much sausage, it was because i ordered the wrong movie in my hotel room. i swear. we have a great show tonight, you guys. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: we have an amazing show tonight. she is one of the stars of nbc's "up all night," and the host of "saturday night live" this weekend. we love her. maya rudolph is here! [ cheers and applause ] one in a million. she's one in a million. so talented. >> steve: she's wonderful. >> jimmy: he hosts his own show on msnbc, dylan ratitgan is stopping by! we'll talk to him. he's got a revolution he wants to talk about. and we have music. boy, do we have a performer tonight. >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: i'm talking about young jeezy featuring ne-yo! what? [ cheers and applause ] huge show. also, guys, i wanted to make sure that you guys know this. next week is broadway week here at "late night." we're going to have performances from "how to succeed in business without really trying," "porgy and bess," "ghost." they made "ghost" into a play. debut of "ghost." >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: "anything goes," and "sister act." they'll be belting out some tunes for us.
i love it. and it's one of the best parts of being in new york city. [ cheers and applause ] or wherever you're watching, you know, around the country -- just watch, and you'll see what's going on here, how amazing these actors are and how talented. they can dance and sing. and you don't have to -- you don't have to pay for a ticket. you watch our show, and then if you like it, you can come see the show. it's just amazing thinking that it's just down the street from us here. it's broadway. we have off broadway. we have off-off-off broadway. higgins, that's where you do your one-man show, right? >> steve: yeah, off-off-off-off broadway. >> jimmy: yeah. what is the name of that play? >> steve: "the candle and the rapist." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? "the candle and the --" which one -- which one do you play? >> steve: i'm the candle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you'rehe candle. congratulations. that's great. [ applause ] "it's the candle and the therapist." >> steve: oh, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: that's just "the candle therapist." >> steve: i'm sorry. i made a mistake. i should read the script. [ laughter ] it's a good show.
>> jimmy: you should read the script. >> steve: i'm going to read the show before i do it. >> jimmy: you were overacting a little bit when i saw you. i was like, "he's just a therapist." [ laughter ] >> steve: now it makes sense. >> jimmy: now it makes a lot more sense. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow, thank god. >> jimmy: hey, guys, it's time for "late night hashtags." here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags hashtags hashtags hastags ♪ >> jimmy: hashtags, you guys. these are lists on twitter where we give you the topics, and you send in the tweets. so yesterday, i went on twitter, and i started a hashtag called "my grandma is cool." and i asked you guys at home to tweet out some funny or weird story about your grandma, something that makes you say, "yeah, my grandma's cool." we got thousands of tweets. in fact, in just five minutes it was a worldwide trending topic on twitter. isn't that amazing? [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for sending in those tweets. now, i thought i would share some of my favorite "my grandma is cool" tweets from you guys. >> steve: your grandma's going to love this. [ laughter ]
all right. here we go. our first one is from @alliherren. she says, "i once got a text from a friend saying, 'dude, your grandma just passed me on the highway in a dune buggy.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: that's a pretty cool grandma right there. riding a dune buggy. this one is from @cmehalfey. he says, "my grandma would microwave my grandpa's pajamas so they would be warm for him to put on." [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] that's awesome. i love that grandma. that's pretty cool, man. >> steve: except for the metal button. >> jimmy: yeah, it did ruin the microwave. [ laughter ] and it burned him, yeah. this one is from @cpteeny. she says, "on sundays, my granny used to watch wwe wrestling on mute while listening to church on the radio." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: two birds, one stone. >> jimmy: that's such a grandma thing to do. i just love it. yeah. folks, cherish it. this one's from @elisieann. she says, "upon discovering her bisquick pancake mix had gone stale, grandma exclaimed that 'it had blown its wad.'" [ laughter ]
grandma said it. this one is from @jamiejones. she says, "on facebook, my grandma will like my status, comment on my status and then, like her comment on my status." [ laughter ] "i agree with what i said. i like what i said." >> steve: "don't blow your wad." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @lauraburdette. she says, "someone told my grandma my cousin was sleeping around. and grandma shrugged and said, 'runs in the family.'" [ cheers and applause ] "just being honest. i'm a slut. yep, just being honest." >> steve: in the genes or out of the jeans. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @haleymct. she says, "she told my cousin she forgot something in the laundry. she reached into the basket and pulled out her middle finger." >> steve: yeah, come on! [ laughter and applause ] boing! >> jimmy: that's something --
my grandma used to do that, too. like, my grandfather would be driving, and me and my sister would be in the back. and my grandfather was driving. my grandma was in the passenger seat. and he'd be like taking the wrong street. he's going "okay, yeah, that's great. yeah, sure. whatever way you want to do it." she would put her arm around the thing and just give the finger. with this hand, just so we could -- so me and my sister, we could see it. [ laughter ] i don't want to show it to you today. [ laughter ] she was awesome. this one's from @taylorg922. he says, "she once accidently called ryan seacrest ryan stuffed crust. and then, laughed so hard about it, she fell off her armchair." [ laughter and applause ] ryan stuffed crust. [ laughter ] this one's from @philandvick. he says "my grandma would pull over for hitchhikers and speed away when they got close to the car." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, yeah. that's the best. >> jimmy: mean. >> steve: that's the best. >> jimmy: pull off in her dune buggy. >> steve: yeah, in her dune buggy. pull a little more forward. then run some more, a little more forward. and then, drive by a puddle and splash them. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah.
this one's from @caraeppright. she says, "she joined a curves gym, didn't use the treadmill or weight machine. she said she just likes to wiggle." [ laughter ] get my wiggle on. that's cute, grandma. this one's from @greenday28. she said her "grandma was tailgating for a buffalo bills game with champagne, of course." you guys have got to see this picture. look at this. there she is! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: look at the boyfriend or whatever in the background. look at that guy. "go, grandma!" [ laughter ] "chug it!" this last one is from @chetahzeworthmd. he says, "at christmas, mom says, 'there's no way you're shoving that thing in my oven.' grandma out of nowhere -- 'that's what she said.'" [ laughter ] there you go, grandma. you're cool. those were tonight's "late night hashtags." to check out more of our favorites, go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/ hashtags. we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody!
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] you can't control humidity. but you can defy it. [ male announcer ] a higher standard in smooth hair is here. new nexxus frizz defy system with moroccan argan oil. protects hair strand by strand to help lock in nourishment and lock out humidity. weightlessly reducing frizz by up to 87%. going beyond frizz control to captivatingly smooth hair anytime. [ hero ] because you can defy anything. [ male announcer ] new nexxus frizz defy system. raise your standard. a relaxing mint flavor. new 5 rpm gum. stimulate your senses.
2:30 in the afternoon, a lot to do, and you've hit the wall. but you got to get stuff done. so take 5-hour energy. just open it up, knock it back, and roll up your sleeves. 5-hour energy is faster and easier than coffee. man, does it work. you'll get that alert, energized feeling you need to get stuff done. a lot of stuff. wow. look at you go. 5-hour energy. when you gotta get stuff done.
you have hard water stains and that cleaner's not gonna cut it. you need lime-a-way. it's 4 times more effective at removing limescale than the leading bathroom cleaner. lime-a-way is specially formulated to conquer hard water stains. for lime, calcium and rust... lime-a-way is a must. [ male announcer ] nyquil cold and flu relieves your cough 50% longer than tylenol cold multi-symptom nighttime. [ snoring continues ] [ male announcer ] because snoring sounds better than coughing. if you can't take a sick day, here's a cold hard fact. alka-seltzer plus cold & cough may cause marked drowsiness. try dayquil cold and flu for non-drowsy relief of these symptoms. ugh! [ male announcer ] so you can save the day, not worry about falling asleep. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: our first guest is one of my favorite people.
she starred in the oscar nominated blockbuster "bridesmaids." and can be seen every -- wasn't that great? oh, yeah, i loved it. [ cheers ] she can be seen every thursday on nbc's "up all night." and this weekend she's hosting "saturday night live." please welcome back to the show, my good pal, maya rudolph! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> are you kidding me? >> jimmy: i mean -- >> that was so beautiful. >> jimmy: aw. >> that was my mommy's song. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah. >> about me when i grow up. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. loving this glory. >> jimmy: loving this glory. minnie riperton. >> oh, questlove, you temptress. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: temptress.
you look gorgeous. thank you for coming back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: exciting, "saturday night live." >> holy guacamole. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm so excited. >> jimmy: i mean, is it crazy out there? i mean, you've done cameos, but hosting is totally different, right? >> yeah. i've probably done the most cameos. i'm sort of like the ghost of 8-h. >> jimmy: no, yeah. >> i won't leave. >> jimmy: you keep coming back. >> yeah, i have a little, like, studio apartment in don pardo's booth. i just love that place so much. as do you. i mean, you know. >> jimmy: it's the best. i love it. i love it. >> being up there -- i mean, your monologue, by the way when you were there and you're saying, like, it's so good to be home. that's really -- i'm not kidding, that's what it feels like. >> jimmy: really. because it's how many years up there and the crew is great. >> i love those people. i love the whole crew. >> jimmy: the cast is a killer right now. >> it -- it -- it feels so good. i'm so excited. i hope, like, a light doesn't fall on my head. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no we won't do it. it won't happen here. yeah. it won't happen, yeah. but remember when you did omarosa and a light -- a light did fall on your head. >> oh, god. oh, my god. that was the best. >> jimmy: that was one of the funniest things i've seen you ever do. >> oh! >> jimmy: oh, my god. do you guys remember when omarosa was on "the apprentice." >> on the "apprentice." >> jimmy: something fell on your head, and she sued donald trump. >> i think at one point we had a trash can fall on my head.
>> jimmy: yeah, a bowling ball. >> bowling ball. >> jimmy: the bowling ball bounced off the desk because it was clearly a fake bowling ball. but every time it hit you, you would get more and more over the top. >> oh! >> jimmy: it was -- yeah, like -- and then, it hit you and you're like, waaaaa. >> it was so stupid. >> jimmy: it was the best thing. i loved it. >> i'm just looking forward to being stupid this saturday. >> jimmy: that's going to be super fun. and you've got a good band, too. >> oh, my god. i know. >> both: sleigh bells. >> jimmy: oh, these guys are -- >> which, by the way, paula pell calls them jingle bells. >> jimmy: no, they're not jingle bells. that's a different band. >> yes. >> jimmy: but any -- any cameos, any surprises? >> yeah. i think we -- i think we might have a couple of special -- >> jimmy: you have a really high voice there. [ laughter ] [ talking in high pitch voices ] >> what? >> jimmy: some people we know maybe? >> maybe some people that are short and have blond hair, maybe not. >> jimmy: maybe a little amy poehler, maybe? >> maybe a lady whose name sounds like jamie zoeller. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a give away. all right, good. al right. that's super fun. so you did the retreat and now
you're blocking. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you excited? >> i know! >> jimmy: i know, it's just -- it's really intense. >> dreams do come true, jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but, i mean -- and then, i mean, on top of all that, i forgot to even congratulate you. "bridesmaids!" hello! what is going on? [ cheers and applause ] >> what is going on? what did i -- what did i do right? >> jimmy: you're just the greatest. you're just hilariously funny. you're gorgeous. you're cool. i mean, just good things happen to good people. [ laughter ] but i mean -- man, you hit it out of the park with that. nominated for two oscars. >> yeah, the movie is nominated for two oscars. >> jimmy: come on, that's crazy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ golden globes. you did that. >> i've got golden globes. >> jimmy: no, no, no. you've been -- you've been to the golden globes. >> oh, yes. i win. >> jimmy: yes, you have. you -- you -- [ laughter ] you said that you started a drinking game. >> oh, yeah. that's right. well at the sag awards, yeah -- me and kristen and melissa told everybody about our drinking game we came up with. >> jimmy: yeah. >> which is based on -- you know it's a drinking game.
you hear a word that you know really well, when the word comes up in the conversation, you have to drink. and so when you hear the word scorsese -- >> jimmy: scorsese -- >> you know, martin scorsese, the director. >> jimmy: martin scorsese. >> by the way, it's the correct pronunciation. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i am here to talk to the youth of america -- >> jimmy: no, wait a second. >> -- about the correct pronunciation of mr. martin scorsese. >> jimmy: is it not scorsese. >> everyone says scorsese, and it's scorsese. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> and it's not steve buscemi. it's steve buscemi. hello, america. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. stop doing this to everybody. >> i'm getting paid to do it. >> jimmy: no, no. you're not getting paid by anyone to do this. >> they're paying me 20 bucks. >> jimmy: they are not giving you 20 bucks. you've never met martin scorsese. >> well -- >> jimmy: you actually came up with the fun -- >> i brought the game. if anybody can play. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is your drinking game. >> this is the drinking game. it comes in a beautiful magnolia bakery cupcake box. >> jimmy: wait a second. you found that from the -- in the dressing room. >> it's got a little oil on it, and a little bit of frosting. let's get that.
>> jimmy: little greasy there. yeah. a little frosting there. >> i don't know if that's a turd or frosting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you never know. >> the drinking game is great, james. >> jimmy: now, what do you do? >> because -- okay, first you need a shot glass. >> jimmy: okay. >> just don't mind the frosting. >> jimmy: nope, not at all. and let's, again, hope it's frosting. [ light laughter ] hi-ho. hey. >> you need some booze. >> jimmy: oh, some nice booze. >> or listerine, i don't know. >> jimmy: i don't know what this is. this is a risk. >> you're going to find out in a minute. >> jimmy: some type of thing. >> and then you need some scorsese shades. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> or lazar, i'm not sure [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel like -- i feel like we should do the next character. that's pretty good. >> go, go, go. >> jimmy: go, go, go! hey! >> i feel like a muppet. >> jimmy: you really pull them off. you look good in it. >> i do, don't i? i look really good.
>> jimmy: and then -- and then, what happens? >> so get some booze. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> put it in your shot glass. i do not promote drinking and driving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you don't have to keep doing this. >> okay. >> jimmy: no one's paying you. >> i got paid for that, too. >> jimmy: no one -- you didn't have say that. >> so i ask you a question. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and we'll see -- and we'll see if the word comes up. >> jimmy: okay. >> who directed "mean streets?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: john wayne. >> wait a minute. >> jimmy: wait a second. i know who directed "mean streets." >> who? >> jimmy: martin scorsese. >> drink. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ boy oh boy. >> it's a great game. >> jimmy: it's a super fun time. fun time. >> for the whole family. >> jimmy: the whole family? who can -- over 21. we do not support drinking and -- >> and driving. >> jimmy: and driving. no, you don't. i'm going to put this knife back in this thing right here. >> thank you. it's very expensive. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about "up all night." >> yes. >> jimmy: congratulations on this by the way. >> thanks, buddy.
>> jimmy: you're great in it. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so good. great time. everyone's good. >> it's really fun. >> jimmy: plus, your -- your -- your dad is coming onto the show soon. >> oh, my god. speaking of dreams come true. >> jimmy: played by henry winkler. [ cheers and applause ] >> played by henry winkler, who -- when i -- when i was a little lady, i used to pretend that when i grew up, arthur fonzarelli a.k.a. henry winkler would become my husband. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so i would dress up as pinky tuscadero in the demolition derby episode. like when she had -- right? so then i would take, like, some toilet paper that i had, like, colored pink. because she only wore pink. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. that's right. she had the little neckerchief and stuff. >> yeah. because her name's pinky. and i would put that on. >> jimmy: pinky tuscadero is awesome. >> and be like, "oh, my arm, i hurt it in the demolition derby." >> jimmy: oh, my god. you were just a little kid. >> heeey! >> jimmy: heeey! i mean, come on. >> and i would dream that the fonz was my husband. i know. >> jimmy: you had a crush on the fonz? >> i had a crush on the fonz. i also had an enormous crush on gene wilder. >> jimmy: now, we -- we -- [ cheers ] i love gene wilder, too. >> hi-oh! >> jimmy: i got a picture of him here. this is from "young frankenstein." >> oh, my god. look at him! [ laughter ]
i love that man. such a sexy bastard. >> jimmy: look at his hair in that one. yeah. >> if me and that dude had a baby, that would be pretty fantastic. i don't even know how much hair would happen. >> jimmy: what would that look like? >> what would that -- what would that baby -- oop, there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: every time you come on we always do something fun. >> yep. >> jimmy: i was just wondering if you would be up for a game? >> hell yes! >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. you guys, "up all night" airs thursdays at 9:30 right here on nbc. maya and i are playing a game when we come back. hosting "saturday night live" this saturday! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we know a place where tossing and turning have given way to sleeping. where sleepless nights yield to restful sleep. and lunesta can help you get there, like it has for so many people before.
when taking lunesta, don't drive or operate machinery until you feel fully awake. walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep, without remembering it the next day, have been reported. abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations or confusion. in depressed patients, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. alcohol may increase these risks. allergic reactions, such as tongue or throat swelling, occur rarely and may be fatal. side effects may include unpleasant taste, headache, dizziness and morning drowsiness. ask your doctor if lunesta is right for you. then get lunesta for $0 at lunesta.com. there's a land of restful sleep. we can help you go there on the wings of lunesta.
at home, i challenge that in one easy step with olay. total effects tone corrector. 7 anti-aging therapies for younger looking skin including an even skin tone, instantly. only from olay. ♪ icy, cool flavor in a delicious 5-calorie stick of gum. ♪ polar ice. from extra. might seem... ♪ ...impossible. no, no... well how about the purp? ew! ♪ yeah. wow.
unless you have eggo® waffles. they're quick and easy to make, and there's something about them... that just makes people move. [ male announcer ] golden crispy outside, warm and fluffy inside. who says breakfast together can't be done? [ male announcer ] eggo® waffles. simply delicious. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: welcome back to "late night" we are here playing the tv game show "classic pyramid."
our special guests are miss maya rudolph and mr. jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] i am your host, steve higgins. maya, who are you playing with? >> oh, hello. i'll be playing with zachary from cape cod, massachusetts. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, fantastic! and who's your partner, jimmy? >> jimmy: i'll be playing with meghan from valencia, california. >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> steve: and here's how we play. you'll each be picking a category. then, you'll try to get your partner to guess as many words or phrases in that category in 30 seconds. 30 seconds as many as you can guess. >> okay. >> steve: the team with the highest score after we clear the pyramid is the winner. questions? >> umm. >> steve: okay, great. here are our categories tonight. we have -- always a bridesmaid. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: as seen on tv. >> jimmy: mm. >> steve: i scream you scream. >> oh! >> steve: two by two. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> steve: is it hoffa in here? >> oh, hell no! [ laughter ] >> steve: and, friends with "p." maya, why don't you pick the first category.
>> well, i'm going to go for friends with p. >> steve: friends with "p." these are musical acts that start with "p." >> so i just do this, right? >> steve: yep. are you ready? >> are you ready? >> steve: are you ready? >> jimmy: can't say any of those words. >> steve: can't say any of those words. are you ready? >> okay. the make-believe. >> the police. no. >> the people. >> they make it up. they -- >> the pretenders. >> yes. [ ding ] things in the sand. >> police. [ ding ] >> okay. when doves cry. >> oh, i'm so young. um. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> prince. [ ding ] >> thank you. oh, i don't know this guy. it's the kind of a dog -- michael vick's dog. >> a pit bull! >> yeah. [ ding ] it's what you put on the street. it's -- >> pavement. [ ding ] >> yes. [ ding ] they're like fairies. >> fish. oh, fish. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: they're like fairies. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: michael vick dog. >> steve: yeah. >> you know, the michael vick dog.
>> steve: fantastic. >> i don't know what songs they sing. >> steve: wow. five points. that's very good. fantastic. jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. >> steve: why don't you pick one. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. i'm going to do -- as seen on tv. >> steve: as seen on tv. these are famous infomercial products. as seen on tv. famous infomercial products. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: are you ready? >> jimmy: this is not going to be good at all. no, okay, ready. >> steve: come on you got it. >> jimmy: okay, ready. here we go. >> steve: go! >> jimmy: this is -- you glue these things all over your jeans. >> bedazzle? >> jimmy: yes. [ ding ] this one is a -- it's a blanket that you wear. >> snuggie. >> jimmy: yes. [ ding ] this one is a -- he's british. and he keeps banging on the thing and it's -- veggies get -- >> oh. the -- >> jimmy: yeah. it's two words. first one, if i blank your face. >> smack? >> jimmy: all right. i'll -- >> smash? >> jimmy: i'm going to go with next one. next one , pass. next one go. he's, again, another british man. and he just takes it. and he just wipes things up. [ laughter ] >> the whamo? >> jimmy: something, yeah! it's close. [ buzzer ] >> oh, no. >> steve: whamo.
judges, can we take that? oh, we cannot. >> jimmy: all right. you don't need to listen to the judges. >> steve: sham-wow. >> excuse me. >> steve: the sham-wow. >> jimmy: the sham-wow. >> steve: sham-wow. >> sham-whoa. >> jimmy: slap chop was the other one. slap chop. sorry about that. >> steve: all right, zachary? >> jimmy: oh, here we go. >> oh, zachary, please. allow me. [ laughter ] >> i get to pick? >> yes. >> steve: you pick a category. >> jimmy: oh, zachary, i don't i know how you're going to pick. you're so young. >> steve: exactly. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm younger -- okay. i just got out of school. okay. >> whoa, you are young. >> is -- [ light laughter ] >> is it hoffa in here? >> i don't know, is it? >> steve: these are yoga poses. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: oh, no. >> yoga poses. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> can you do them all? >> why not. you know. >> do you know yoga? >> steve: all right, ready? >> kind of. >> oh, great. >> steve: go. >> lotus. child pose. [ ding ]
warrior. >> yup. [ laughter ] [ ding ] >> tree? >> no, no. like a -- big bird. >> oh, crane. crane. >> what is our american bird? >> the eagle. >> yeah, okay. [ ding ] >> the snakey snake. like a little snake on the ground. with a thing -- the snake. >> python. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. >> we're going to pass. >> cobra! >> yes! okay. [ ding ] a canine that is -- >> dog pose. >> but what type of dog? >> downward dog. >> okay. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] >> steve: whoa! wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what was going on? you guys are good. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: what is going down? >> steve: 10-2. >> kill, kill. >> jimmy: 10-2. all right. come on. >> steve: 10-2, good buddy. >> jimmy: meghan, we got to do this. >> steve: are you ready? pick a category. >> jimmy: meghan, we can do this. we can do this. 10-2, good buddy. no one ever says that. >> not now. >> steve: i thought that -- >> jimmy: no, they don't say "10-2, good buddy." >> steve: all right, what are you going to pick? >> i'm going to go with two by two. >> steve: two by two. ooh.
these are things that -- that come in pairs. so let's keep it clean. things that come in pairs. ready, meghan? >> ready. >> jimmy: come on pairs, yeah. >> steve: go! >> two people that are born at the same time. >> jimmy: twins. [ ding ] >> things that you wear on your feet. >> jimmy: socks. >> no the other ones. >> jimmy: shoes. [ light laughter ] [ ding ] >> candy that comes in a package. just -- >> jimmy: twix. >> no, it has peanut butter in it. [ audience oohs ] [ buzzer ] >> steve: no, just move on. move on. >> jimmy: reese's peanut butter cup. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay so -- >> jimmy: might as well just say it. >> so they're a famous couple. and they have a lot of kids, some of them of their own and some of them adopted. >> jimmy: brad and angelina. >> yep. >> jimmy: brad pitt and angelina jolie. [ ding ] >> and you eat -- [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: oh, man. >> steve: oh, good. [ audience aws ] [ applause ] >> i tried. >> that was excellent. >> steve: 10-5. 10-5, good buddy. all right. >> jimmy: 10-5, good buddy. are we still -- we're still here. we'll still in this. >> 10-5, good buddy. >> steve: maya, we're going to you. now, you guys decide who will give and who will receive. [ laughter ] [ cheers ]
>> zachary, do you like to give or receive? [ laughter ] >> depends on the day. >> jimmy: all right! >> steve: oh! [ rim shot ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hey! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. [ speaking gibberish ] >> steve: all right. i guess you're going to give? >> are you going to give? [ light laughter ] got to be gentle. [ laughter ] >> steve: okay, you have three categories left. >> i scream, you scream. yeah. >> yeah. >> steve: i scream, you scream. these are things that can make you scream. you have 30 seconds on the clock. ready? go. >> it's a ride where you go waa! >> roller coaster. [ ding ] >> this is a little tiny animal, and it's the computer thing. >> mouse. [ ding ] >> it's arson in a house, burning. >> fire. [ ding ] >> a quarterback makes this. or someone throws it and somebody makes this. >> pass. >> no. >> they go, whoo! >> touchdown. [ ding ] [ laughter ] >> these are bugs in new york that are really scary and gross.
>> cockroaches. [ ding ] >> this is a film that is terrifying. >> "scream." >> like a type of film that -- >> horror, horror. scary. >> what? >> scary movie. >> yep. [ ding ] >> this is -- ♪ oh, baby, baby, baby >> justin beiber! >> yes. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow! [ buzzer ] oh, man! you guys, you're the winners. congratulations. ♪ >> jimmy: when we come back. you're amazing. oh, my gosh. you guys -- we tried, meghan. you guys, do not miss maya hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest sleigh bells. maya rudolph! [ cheers ] dylan ratigan joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is lois. the day starts with arthritis pain... a load of new listings... and two pills. after a morning of walk-ups, it's back to more pain, back to more pills. the evening showings bring more pain and more pills.
sealing the deal... when, hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. it can relieve pain all day with fewer pills than tylenol. this is lois... who chose two aleve and fewer pills for a day free of pain. [ female announcer ] and try aleve for relief from tough headaches. for a day free of pain. conquer your busy day. burn! let's do it! ♪ hi. [ female announcer ] outlast your day, any day, with secret's 48-hour odor protection technology. new secret outlast. a, the appearance. amber. [ jim ] b, balance. sam adams has malt sweetness, hoppy bitterness. [ jim ] c, complexity. pine notes, grapefruit notes. only believe your own pallet. go taste them.
>> jimmy: our next guest this evening hosts the "dylan ratigan show," which airs weekdays at 4:00 p.m. on msnbc. he's also the author of a new book entitled "greedy bastards: how we can stop the corporate communists, banksters, and other vampires from sucking america dry." please welcome to the show, dylan ratigan, you guys! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "greedy bastards." >> it's subtle. >> jimmy: i love it. it's very subtle. i went right for it. i love this. you have -- you have great ideas. you're very well informed. i like -- we were talking backstage. you want to start a revolution. >> no, no, no. you, i have come humbly to your castle, so that i can summon your leadership to save this nation. >> jimmy: you want me to save the nation? >> you are -- we are screwed. if you haven't noticed. >> jimmy: well, we are now.
[ laughter ] if i'm here to save the day? yeah. no. >> well, we all know country has many problems. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we know we can go on forever about this. we know that the only way to solve our problems is to have a lot of experiments, a lot of exploration, a lot of new ideas, a lot of new things. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we know that you have secured your position as the leader of the youth of america. right? [ cheers and applause ] it's a big burden for you. [ talking over each other ] you bear a big -- this is a heavy burden. >> jimmy: well, you were talking to us because a lot of kids watch our show, college kids. we've got high school kids. we got kids in grade school watch our show. >> i know. big with the fourth graders. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah, yeah, yeah. absolutely, kindergarteners, they all love it. i was reading some excerpts of your book in here. and you're saying -- there's one thing where you're saying that this generation of kids are fearless. >> yeah. well, i mean, listen. not only are they fearless, the only people who understand -- when you go into an experiment, you have to have the audacity to actually conduct it, to think that you can do something that has never been done before. and no one has more audacity, more of that belief, than a
young person. because "a," nobody's told them, yet, that they can't do things. and "b," they're too stupid to know the difference. they haven't been around long. nobody's told -- no -- literally, nobody has said to them "this won't work." so they have every reason to believe that it will work, which is why we see so much -- i'm sure i didn't win a lot of fans calling them too stupid to know the difference. >> jimmy: that's all right. i do get your point. >> that's why you're the priest. >> jimmy: well, no, now, please. but i wonder what the 30 million jobs tour -- i like this idea. you're looking to create 30 million new jobs. >> yes. it's -- it's -- >> jimmy: by inventing a new -- >> it's through experimentation. i mean, listen. let's be honest. 30 million jobs is the number of jobs we actually need in this country. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's the people who -- that's the number of people in this country that are unemployed, underemployed. this is a real thing in america right now. and really, it's our biggest problem. there's no linear -- there's no one solution for 30 million jobs. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we need a wide -- we need a cascade of activity. we need a cascade of ideas. we need a cascade of new businesses, new undertakings, new developments in order to get to those 30 million jobs.
and that is why i really am so concerned and so keyed up on highlighting people that are already doing this, coming to talk to people like you that can inspire people to do this. because i know that there's no one solution. >> jimmy: i like this. >> this is a cultural thing. >> jimmy: and you're going around -- you're going to different colleges. and you're talking to kids and saying "hey, what do you got?" >> that's it. one question. >> jimmy: let me talk to them before you fire them. >> we're going to the university of kentucky next week. we're going to visit, i guess, the wildcats. and then the buckeyes at ohio state. and then, the university of chicago, they're phoenix. which is a different -- >> jimmy: giant school. >> and one question, what is your experiment? it is not who are you? it is not what do you do? it's not who do you know? the question for every student in america, and really every person in america should be and is, i think, for this time in our history, "what is your experiment?" and if you don't have one, whose experiment are you helping out with and why? and that has to really become, i think, the central point of our social identification, in all seriousness -- in order for us to actually resolve a lot of the things we're dealing with, and things
like this. >> jimmy: you brought something with you, which is a cool invention i've never seen,. and it's made by some kid in austin. >> it's mad by -- so i was in austin, texas, last week. take a look at this bad boy. oh, yeah. austin's totally awesome. i mean, it's great. it's out of control. but so anyway, i was sitting there. i was talking with a group of young sort of entrepreneurs and whatnot. a kid walks up to me. hands this to me. and i said, "what is this?" it looks like a blender blade or something. >> jimmy: yeah, a turbine or something. >> this is a light bulb that costs around 20 bucks, and lasts for 30 years. reduces energy consumption by 90% on the first moment you screw it in. these wings that are around the outside of it are heat dissipation wings. the reason light bulbs go out, i learned this from my friend in austin. i didn't know this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the reason bulbs go out is because the heat is retained inside bulbs and then they burn themselves out. their innovation is to create this heat dissipation so that the heat never goes inside the bulb. the heat is always leaving. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> 30 years.
90% reduction in efficiency. made in america. invented in america. as you travel around the country, you do it. i'm doing it right now. if you open yourself up and ask the question -- my question is how can i help? my question of you, whoever you may be, is what's your experiment? you get things like this from the people of this country, just by walking around. it's pretty awesome. >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. and i -- i mean, come on. [ cheers and applause ] that's inspiring and cool. >> straight out of texas. >> jimmy: you know, what i want you to do is -- i want you, if you can -- if you go around -- if you get more of these things -- can you collect some other -- >> i will come back. >> jimmy: -- experiments and come back and let's plug these guys and get these kids working. and get them rich. >> yes. >> jimmy: i love this type of stuff. >> well, see, these guys, i think they're called fireflies. just if anybody wants -- >> jimmy: fireflies if you want to google it, i don't have the stuff with me, but fireflies. >> jimmy: firefly light bulbs. >> yes. >> jimmy: you rock. all in day. thank you to dylan ratigan. you guys, go see his 30 million jobs tour at a college campus near you. after the break, young jeezy performs with ne-yo and the roots. stick around! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
♪ so every year my family throws this great reunion in austin. but this year, i can only afford one trip and i've always wanted to learn how to surf. austin's great -- just not for surfing. so i checked out hotwire. and by booking with them, i saved enough to swing both trips. see, hotwire checks the competition's rates every day so they can guarantee their low prices. that's how i got a 4-star hotel on the beach in san diego for half price. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e ♪ hotwire.com pssst! don't go in there! it's your surprise party and we want this hair color to be party ready. let's get some dimensional color. now!? what if it comes out wrong?
[ gigi ] nice 'n easy gets your right color every time. guaranteed. in one step get tones and highlights for a gorgeous result. now, go party! surprise! surprise! surprise! surprise! i had no idea. [ gigi ] nice 'n easy. available in original or award winning foam from the color experts at clairol. when i'm on the night shift. when they have more energy than i do. when i don't feel like working out. when there isn't enough of me to go around. ♪ when i have school. and work. every morning. it's faster and easier than coffee. every afternoon when that 2:30 feeling hits. -every day. -every day.
every day is a 5-hour energy day. [ male announcer ] 5-hour energy. every day. n change your life. my fourth grade teacher mrs. hoffman encouraged me to fulfill my potential. she wrote in my yearbook, "one day you'll be the star of an award-winning show on nbc!" how did she know that? the more you know. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: our next guest is a superstar rapper who is joined tonight by multiplatinum singer ne-yo to perform their new single, "leave you alone" from the album "thug motivation: 103 hustlerz ambition." please welcome young jeezy! [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪ >> yeah. >> here we go. >> what, what, go. ♪ she said you ain't no good but you feel so good she said what if i could ♪ ♪ but i gotta leave you alone ♪ ♪ yeah she said i gotta leave you alone ♪ ♪ she said she said i know you bad ♪ ♪ you bad but i want you back she said she said ♪ ♪ makes me so sad that i gotta leave you alone ♪
♪ yeah that i gotta leave you alone ♪ ♪ homies look, look look, look ♪ ♪ i got my mind on my money all i need's a bad chick that i can run through the city spend this cash with ♪ ♪ that i can run through the city spending mad dough ♪ ♪ wake up in the morning get my smash on i don't want much baby egg whites ♪ ♪ keep your stomach and your thighs and your legs right while i'm out here focus getting that bread right ♪ ♪ but if the head right jeezy there every night wake up in the morning and i'm still here ♪ ♪ wake up in the morning and i ain't cold all i ask let me just do me ♪ ♪ and maybe just me and you can get along had them other broads mad when they seen us ♪ ♪ had to match our rolexes baby team us yeah the earth is our turf we can share the world ♪ ♪ maybe even go half on a baby girl ♪ ♪ she said you ain't no good but it feels so good she said what if i could ♪ ♪ but i gotta leave you alone
yeah yeah ♪ ♪ yeah she said i i gotta leave you alone ♪ ♪ she said i know you bad you bad ♪ ♪ but i want you back yeah she said she said makes me so sad ♪ ♪ that i gotta leave you alone i gotta leave you alone it goes, ah, ah, look look ♪ ♪ let me be your mind reader let me read your mind and when i'm done with the front hit it from behind ♪ ♪ love and loyalty never cross the line just hit a homie up when i cross your mind ♪ ♪ show you how to get you on you won't be watching mine put you up on g show you how to shine ♪ ♪ and maybe we can kick it when i got the time be my backbone every need a spine ♪ ♪ gotta know you ride with me if i'm right or wrong case i wake up in the morning and it's all gone♪ ♪ best believe i'ma get it right back that's just the hustler in me i know you like that ♪
♪ you probably think i'm with a different broad every night ♪ ♪ and when i think about it yeah you're probably right ♪ ♪ the more i think about it yeah you're probably wrong cause what you didn't think about is that i'm grown ♪ ♪ she said you ain't no good no good but you feel so good she said ♪ ♪ she said what if i could ♪ ♪ but i gotta leave you alone yeah yeah i gotta leave you alone ♪ ♪ look he goes she said she said i know you bad ♪ ♪ you bad but i want you back she said ♪ ♪ she said it makes me so sad ♪ ♪ that i gotta leave you alone yeah she said i i gotta leave you alone ♪ >> yo, ne-yo, what's up? ♪ she said she hates how much she need me turn around, and she don't need me ♪ ♪ always talking
about she gonna leave me but she don't ♪ ♪ she never do though ♪ she said she hate how much she need me always talking about she gonna leave me ♪ ♪ turn around, and she don't need me ♪ but she don't yeah ♪ ♪ but maybe this time i'll be different cause she shed so many tears ♪ ♪ shed so many tears she'll remind me of the stupid things that i've done over the years ♪ ♪ okay but she don't be tripping in the morning ♪ ♪ i got her -- up by her ears yeah but as soon as we get done ♪ ♪ what's up i swear this is all i hear, yeah ♪ ♪ she said she said you ain't no good no good but you feel so good ♪ ♪ she said she said what if i could ♪ ♪ but i gotta leave you alone ♪ >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you, buddy? thank you so much. young jeezy! ne-yo! >> good to see you buddy.
>> jimmy: check out the album "thug motivation 103: hustlerz ambition." we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hands that feel soft and silky smooth! ooh...she's got the look. what's her secret? the gloves? dawn? i don't believe it. [ male announcer ] it's a dishwashing sensation... dawn hand renewal with olay beauty. it contains revitalizing proteins to help smooth skin on hands -- improving their look and feel in just five uses. [ sponge ] soft, smooth... fabulous! you're quite the trendsetter. [ male announcer ] dawn does more... [ sponge ] so it's not a chore. immerse yourself in all over relief [ female announcer ] feeling that flu all over your body? with alka seltzer plus. it's specially formulated to speed relief to every inch of you. liquidate your flu symptoms with alka seltzer plus.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to maya rudolph! dylan radigan! young jeezy! ne-yo! and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a great night! hope to see you tomorrow! good night! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪